beautifullyscarreds

  • Hello World!

    Welcome to Beautifullyscarreds! This is a platform for healing where we get closure by sharing our scarring moments that we no longer want to hold us hostage. Even better, I will be using the pronoun ‘I’ for identification unless on request. Tag along in this journey as we share our stories Raw without throwing shed! Watch out for updates on Sundays, bi- monthly, at 8p.m E.A.T.

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    Be the VOICE!

  • Default Settings

    The thing that exists or happens if you do not change it intentionally by performing an action

    Cambridge dictionary

    All of us have our default settings.I categorize them into two:

    • Reactive Default Settings
    • Responsive Default Settings

    I will be using two of the many favourite characters of mine in the Bible to expound on the two namely: Peter and Job

    For some reason,we don’t appreciate Peter’s stance to walk on water as much as we unconsciously judge him for betraying Jesus with the assumption that he knew better. Question is,did he❓

    Peter is one of the first disciples of Jesus. His personality before and after  his pardon  after the betrayal of Jesus are totally different. Peter was the type of person whom would be referred as <act and think later > a.k.a. a reactive person. Oftentimes,such an individual acts based on  current emotions without introspection to get the bigger picture. It is when someone needs the answer now and how they feel and view things now is the right way and everything and everyone else is wrong. It is an individual who treats things at face value and believes that things are either white or black and usually this is not the case.

    Illustration

    Peter correctly answered Jesus . In Mat 16, Jesus asked who people said He was. Peter answered correctly that He was the Messiah  but shortly after he rebuked Jesus for saying He would die
    Peter and Jesus walk on water. This was a son of a fisherman. He was equally a fisherman and he knew storms and walking on it can’t be on the same setting yet because Jesus said he acted
    After the last supper,Jesus mentions that upon his death the sheep would stumble. It is Peter who says that maybe others would but he would never. Just like Jesus told him,he denied Christ three times
    After resurrection,despite having seen Jesus. It was Peter’s suggestion to go back fishing and 6 people went with him.

    Reactive Default Settings is when we don’t ruminate our words,thoughts, and emotions before acting.

    Illustration 2

    In Job I , God introduced us to a man He referred to as righteous.

    After the devil got a go ahead on Job, in one day Job lost his wealth, marriage, family , and health. One bombshell after another from verse 13-19 . What was his response ❓

    Job 1:20-22 NLT
    [20] Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. [21] He said, “I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!” [22] In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.

    This is what I call Responsive Default Settings. This type of response is cultivated overtime. The individual has practised and mastered the art of introspection so much so that even in intense moments their response is that of calmness disregarding the much anticipated falling apart.

    …’if you do not change it intentionally by performing an action.’ I would like to put emphasis on this last part of the definition of Default Settings according to Cambridge dictionary. You need to put in work to avoid being all over the place. Let me show you how

    Who stood to preach after the Holy Spirit came down at Antioch in tongues of fire and the crowd begam to ridicule the disciples for speaking in tongues ?
    Who led 3000 souls into salvation?
    It was Peter who was shown first via a vision that the gospel was open to the gentiles even though it was Paul that Jesus sent
    He authored two letters: I and 2nd Peter
    He died as a martyr as Jesus had spoken ( John 21:18-19 ).  There are traditions that indicate he was crucified upside down.

    For Jacob,until he became Israel his default was to deceive. For Nehemiah,his default was to pray . I guess to throw the spanner in the fire one would say it is Jesus who called out the version of Peter. Yes,I  Agree. But, Peter was willing to be worked on. Mastering your emotions needs one to be willing to be taught  even by others. Submitting to people of greater authority than you or even sober friends who can hold you accountable. When you are corrected, be willing to accept and work on it. You now understand why Jesus said that if you put your hands on the plough and look back you are unfit for service in God’s kingdom( Luke 9:62 ) . Like what Elisha did when Elijah called him when you and I decide to work on ourselves there ought to be no looking back.

    What is your default dear readers ? Please let me know down in the comments section.

    Causes of Reactive Default Settings

    • Hurt. You have been disappointed too many times. You can’t trust people because they say one thing but do another .It’s like you have become a rejection/ hurt detector and so you flee. You stop asking,stop expecting,  stop sharing , you unnecessarily apologize for mistakes that you haven’t done. You avoid any environment that makes you vulnerable at all costs . Alternatively,you become an emotional manipulator either with your crocodile tears or guilt tripping words and actions.
    • Immaturity. There are areas in us that need intentional work for us to outgrow. Imagine at 20 and you still suck your thumb like you used to while young 🤔. Sleeping too much because it’s a hobby , spilling details about you without leaving any out in the name of being brutally honest, going for long periods of silence because you are mad and avoiding dealing with issues head on because you dislike conflict. The list is endless, figure out what might be yours.This is intertwined with our personalities but since we don’t exist in a vacuum, may we learn to live and accommodate each other in the most positive way we can.
    • Cultured. 60 % of how we act is how it was shown to us while the rest in learned . I can confidently say that even those that were cultured can be unlearned . Some grew with very harsh parents, maybe alcoholics , irresponsible people, high achievers , unhealthy households, some saw how one of their parent beat up the other blue and black,for others their homes were poverty stricken ,some were taught / modelled  how to be really mean or kind. Unlearn what is unhealthy and learn what is healthy. Just because you were raised in military style doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the way you ought to raise your own kids. Disclaimer !Be careful so you don’t do either of the extremes instead find balance.

    Conclusion

    I hope that we can learn to be responsive and not reactive. The best way to know where you fall at is in the middle of crises. Do you stay and fight or you choose flight ? Do you get the need to complain and blame people for your decisions which put you in that place first of all or take responsibility ? Before you buy bundles and record a video on tik tok to tell people that you aren’t well have you tried praying and sharing with sober minded people ? You know help is always a right call away . Is your default to eat a lot ( sometimes I do 😆) when stressed ? Is it a shopping spree?( I know it seems harmless but it’s not) , do you threaten people a lot ? Do you go on a borrowing spree? Do you seek affirmation from people every time to be sure of what to do?

    Also, if you feel you know me well I am challenging you to point out mine 😉. If you get it correct I owe you a lunch ( 🐥🐥) for two and of course you’re paying. Lol.Let me leave you with something random down 👇 here for anyone who may need it

    Until next time,

    Bises 😘

  • The Cost of The blessing

    Over the the past three weeks or so, I have found myself having this discussion with people in my inner circle. What has been intriguing me is the level of intensity in which we easily reject a blessing because of the ‘discomfort ‘ it administers . What I mean is that a blessing is often wrapped up as a mess. Jesus Christ being born in a manger is one perfect example . Unlike Mary  who willingly said that ‘ May it be done as you will’ we behave like Moses ,or Jeremiah,or Peter etc because of how uncomfortable the blessing makes us feel. Often times, it means that we have to cease doing things in a particular manner and embrace the new but given new is strange we crave for the familiar and so by default we sabotage that which God has predestined for us. In short, we choque ourselves to death.

    Personal Experience

    I come from a family of five girls and one boy . My last born sister was born when I was done with highschool. Literally,I raised this girl from day one. Life happened and time went by until I finished my Undergraduate studies then began working. Fast forward, we came to a place where my dad was near retirement and my mama’ s life got discombobulated due to happenings of life . So, I reached out to my mom and volunteered to take my little sister in and raise her so as to give her alone time to focus on herself. The rest of my siblings are either working or in  college.  When I made this appeal to my mom,I was so convicted God wanted me to do it. Secondly,let’s just say I have this bad nature of wanting to take care of the problems people close to me have or go through.

    Given change is the only constant concept we have on this earth, time flew by and it happened. If I say my life was turned  upside down this would be probably an understatement. First, I am a chronic introvert and a loner. My space is sacred . Secondly, assisting from a distance is totally okay but being actively involved that’s where I drew the line. I always wondered why my mom talked a lot. Why she had to raise her voice and why she had to ‘ police ‘ us in everything until I met my little sister. Coming back to the house whenever I felt ceased. My dislike for cooking had no room to exist. It was no longer just me buying myself stuff but I had to put her needs before mine. Parents meetings, school fees ,the list is endless but above all to parent. This meant that ‘ not my monkey not my business ‘ couldn’t apply in bringing her up. In short ,it took me about 6 months to finally whoop her. I found myself ready to send her back to my mom’s anytime she hit a wrong  nerve. I would vent and God bless my mom for condoning my childishness. I remember not once but many times  asking God if that was really His will and why this new situation was very tough on me. I prayed it away until one day I woke up and things were never the same.

    I made the decision to stop fighting and embrace the situation.My prayers turned to asking God to teach me how to behave in a manner that honours Him because my sister is His creation. I asked for wisdom on how to handle different situations and patience to learn what He was teaching me. I ceased to view my sister as a problem but a blessing and that’s where I had a turn around. Things didn’t change instantly but God walked with me the day I made a choice to be different. God clearly says He hates pride and by the virtue that I never before took time to pause and see myself as the problem then it meant I was very proud . Yet,God doesn’t mince His words when He says ‘ He abhors the proud ‘. Then …it is only then that God worked on the areas I was lacking. It was only then that I got to appreciate my sister as the blessing she is. You know, when Judas was picked as the treasurer of the disciples , it is not that Jesus didn’t know about him being a thief . But maybe just like Judas we need to be entrusted with money to know that we have a money problem. What I mean is, the blessing must have the right environment to blossom and since the Lord shines the sun on both the righteous and the wicked ,in His permissive  will and out of His mercy He gives us a blessing even when we don’t deserve it. Question is: Will you learn to embrace the chaos of your blessing or sabotage yourself ⁉️ Can you learn to introspect when you feel discomfort rather than shove away that which is good because it makes you uncomfortable ⁉️ If you think about it , if the seed decided that darkness was comfortable and chose to remain underground despite receiving water and manure would it ever get the chance to sprout up it’s shoot ,receive light and become fruitful ⁉️ Think about it .

    What’s your response?

    Jonah took a ship that headed to a different direction, Peter went back fishing, Barak in Judges chapter 4 insisted that Deborah tags along with him to the battle against Sisera despite Deborah assuring him that God would grant him victory. For what he did, it is in the hands of Jael that Sisera died and not Barak. Moses gave God every excuse he thought of because the assignment seemed too big and of great value for someone like him to handle ,  Jeremiah gave his excuses and even after God reassured him, when people hated him since his messages were of judgement and doom he wanted but  he stayed. Esther when cornered by his uncle Mordecai  concerning the Jews after the decree made by Haman her immediate response was  that she couldn’t just appear before the king for fear of loosing her life . Orpah the sister of Naomi didn’t even put up a fight, and Naomi’s husband Elimelek chose Moab when Bethlehem was in trouble and for his action it costed him his life and that of his seed. From the examples I have given , there are those who lost it, some God redeemed , and others God did not allow them to sabotage themselves. You and I may never know in which category we may fall. Therefore, I shall urge you ; anytime you are in a new territory,any time you get a promotion,a new working environment, new responsibility,or a change of some sort don’t flee but fight.

    Have you ever found yourself in such a situation or are you currently in one ? Please let me know in the comments section.

    Until next time,

    Bises 😘

  • Leakages

    You must be wondering, what kind of topic is this ? I must confess that I got the idea in a very profound way since I was struggling on what to write about. When you hear the word leakages,what comes to your mind first ? I presume a leaking container, a pipe that burst, a vehicle with mechanical issues , and for the women it can be the monthly leaks ( sorry) or leakages due to health issues like fistula. The point is; a leak is an indication that something is definitely wrong and needs attention.

    Yesterday as my sister and I were going through proverbs 19, we came across this verse 👇

    ‭Proverbs 19:13b GNBDC‬.
    A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip.



    Drip – drip- drip is the sound of a leak. Overtime,it gets very annoying. That is how you and I become when we don’t sort out our leakages. So, how do we leak ?You and I leak through our three inlets: eyes ,ears ,and mouth. It is because of our un attended leakages that we are unproductive in certain seasons of our lives. For some, the motion of a pendulum best describes their life .

    Mouth 👄

    We talk too much. Proverbs says that even a fool is considered wise when  he shuts up. Also, watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut and you will stay out of trouble. James says that out of the same mouth that we use to praise God we curse men who have been made in His likeness.Fresh and salty water cannot come from the same source. In like manner, we must mind our words. They can make or break someone. The tongue though little can put a forest on  fire. He says that we ought to be slow to speech and quick to listen . As we talk , remember this:

    I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    Maya Angelou

    Don’t say it if you don’t have to and if you have to make sure you wound no one. Some of us lack friends because our words are vile.

    Ears 👂

    What are you listening to ?What we listen to informs our thoughts and eventually our words.  I remember back in my Uni days I was so much into hard hip-hop. Cursing was normal and it was almost impossible for me not to utter a sentence without curse words. My friends used to compare my mouth with a toilet because of how vulgar I had become. Unknown to me,the music was getting into my soul and since one excretes what they ingest so did I . If you hang around people who talk about impossibilities than possibilities, people who see their flaws more than their strengths,those who talk down on you,soon you will be a pessimist. Make sure you listen to words that build and not tear you down. Most importantly, music is the only thing that goes directly into your soul without permission. That’s why, my fellow folks who got into salvation can attest that though we ceased listening to secular music, if today one of us gets in a space where your former genre of  music plays you can still sing to it word by word. Why ?

    Eyes 👀

    If I start speaking about what our eyes are exposed to I may never finish. You see,hear, and speak. The Israelites missed the promised land at first because they ‘ saw’ themselves as grasshoppers. People will see you how you see yourself. Make sure whatever you view adds value to you .

    Why should you seal your leakages?

    You can never live in your full potential as long as you leak. Leakages make us susceptible to failures.Imsgine s pipeline transporting oil leaking, what manner of losses shall the owners incur? Worse, some of us choose to stay where we fall because what’s the need ? Pick you up and try again. Nobody’s perfect except Christ. Even David murdered and committed adultery yet he was God’s friend, Peter betrayed Him, Noah couldn’t hold his liquor, Jacob  was a thief, Moses a murderer and had anger issues, and Aaron was indecisive yet God used them. Give God your imperfections and let Him work on them.

    I am studying the book of Jeremiah. I bumped onto this verse 👇

    ‭Jeremiah 25:3 GNBDC‬
    [3] “For 23 years, from the thirteenth year that Josiah son of Amon was king of Judah until this very day, the LORD has spoken to me, and I have never failed to tell you what he said. But you have paid no attention.

    Imagine for 23 whole years! I mean, children were born somewhere and became adults yet people chose to seek after their own desires. You know,Genesis 6, God says that He regretted making man because of wickedness. First forward to Jeremiah,it is the only time God says He did not know or imagining something; the level of idolatry Jerusalem was beyond His imagination . Personally, I am like David. My greatest concern is God’s presence to leave me. I cannot imagine doing life without Him. I have tasted the world and the Word and I choose the latter. Leakages will choque your assignment.

    Conclusion

    You know what you do that makes you stagnant. You are always swimming like a pendulum. The things you do in secret that you think no one knows about because you are good at hiding. Maybe it’s pornography, masturbation, adultery, etc . You know them. Unless you are a worthy vessel,God can’t live in you and you can’t be empty either. Choose wisely.

    Seal your mouth,your eyes,and your ears and stop the leakages.

    I hope you learnt something new and it has made you reflect on yourself. Perhaps you will stop blaming people for your misfortunes and start to introspect. Finally,even as Kenya is in shambles now; guard your mouth,ears, and speech.

    Until next time,

    Bises 😘

  • EXCUSES

    • Who am I that I should go? ( Identity)
    • Who shall I say sent me ?
    • What if they don’t believe me ?
    • I am slow of speech and tongue
    • Please send someone else

    You and I give excuses every single day we exist on this earth. Excuses are fueled by fear : fear of failure,how others perceive us,of the unknown, our inadequacies ( I don’t have it all) , and fear of lack of a backing. The above five excuses were what Moses told God when He called him to get the children out of Egypt to save them from slavery.

    Identity

    It is interesting to know that the first question is on identity. Like Moses, for some reason there is an ideology that unless I come from an influential family then I cannot have affluence. For Moses, a Hebrew who was raised as an Egyptian prince , in fact ,when the children of Jethro report to him why they were back early from watering the flock, they say, ” an Egyptian rescued us from the shepherds …”) His question is very valid. I mean he fled after killing and Egyptian and being discovered and the very people he thought his actions were to cover them one of the two Hebrews who were fighting asked him who made him ruler and judge  over them? As long as they were aware, he lived in the palace. 40 years in the wilderness from being a prince can make you doubt your identity. In like manner, we loose out on opportunities because we discredit ourselves as insufficient. What do we say⁉️

    • I am not intelligent enough
    • I am not as pretty
    • I am of a different class
    • We are of different faiths.( What if that’s the assignment? )- not in a marriage partner though
    • I am not good at …
    • I am not cut out for it

    The list is endless, you know 😉. I submit to you that stop making everything about yourself.

    Who sent me ?

    Under whose authority am I doing this ? There is a desire in knowing that I have someone backing me up just incase things fall apart I have somewhere to lean on. God was gracious enough to introduce Himself to Moses because He understands that we all get to a time when a personal conviction is what will keep us faithful to the assignment. In His mercy, God introduces Himself in detail and says that He is what we need Him to be . If peace,He is Shalom , provision,He is Jireh , Father He is Aba, if I need someone to fight my battles He becomes my warrior etc. As long as you have the backing of God you will be fine. He has already given you what you need in the uncharted waters. He equips you as you move not when you are static in fear . He equips those He calls. I must warn you that just because God is in it doesn’t mean you will have a smooth sailing. This life has dents just figure out how to navigate them because God has graced you. You can never know your capacity to handle something unless you throw yourself in the deep and murky waters with trust that He who sent you will sustain you.

    What if they don’t believe me or listen to what I say ⁉️

    Stop thinking on behalf of others. You can never be in control of how people see,perceive ,think, and handle things. If it’s any consolation, how about tell God your fear and let Him handle their reactions and responses. What if they are meant to behave the way they are so as to grow something in you ? Have you considered that probably you are the issue and you need to grow somethings and let others go ?

    ‭Daniel 2:21 GNBUK‬
    [21] He controls the times and the seasons; he makes and unmakes kings; it is he who gives wisdom and understanding.

    Lift them in prayers then act .

    I am not of eloquent speech

    In response, this is what Moses was told:”  “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?

    Imagine if you are a parent , your child tells you that they can’t do something because they are short or maybe because they are challenged physically. I mean you made them so don’t you know? God uses the imperfect people to execute His perfect plans. In your weaknesses is where He exalts Himself further. He used Peter’s character ( one who doesn’t overanalyze stuff) , Gideon was called a mighty man of Valor yet he was hiding in a cave from the Philistines threshing wheat, He used  Samson’s anger issues  to kill the Philistines , Rahab’s whoredom to shelter the two spies, Paul’s zeal , Ruth the Moabitess as Jesus grandmother despite her background, and David to defeat Goliath yet he was but a young lad. Don’t let your imperfections deter you from pursuing anything. God has created someone for each of us.

    For every Moses there is an Aaron

    Please send someone else

    This is where you have completely written yourself off. Despite many assurances, you have already decided that you will stay stuck in the place of fear . Why not you and someone else ?  God expounded to Moses in details what would happened,showed him miracles but still he was skeptical.  In the words of my mother:

    The conclusion I arrive at is based on the belief system I begin with

    If you believe that you will ace it then you will and even when you stumble you still pick yourself up and keep pushing. The opposite is true. Once you have decided that something is hard then you will keep looking for reasons to validate even if they are not there so that you eventually validate your fears which aren’t confounded. So, at the mere sight / imagination of what you thought you bolt or make up an excuse not to level up. Then you resign to ,”this is not meant for me” then  you go back to God and cry ,” please Lord give me this,or send me this ,open this up for me ‘ yet He has but just because the packages of God doesn’t always come according to the definition of your perfection you reject it. So, what is it that God has placed in  your path and you are the one rejecting it because you aren’t ready to work it out ?That thing that you imagine God has to do the work and hand it down to you ready made ? Ask any ‘ successful’ person’s and they will tell you that it wasn’t as easy as people may assume but it is years of work , discipline,intentionality ,and constant pursuit that eventually paid off.

    Lesson: Don’t assume that the things of God don’t make you sweat . If anything, they do in much higher degree . Like salvation,you work it out dear reader.

    In conclusion, I am dedicatingb this to everyone who is embracing excuses . Don’t deny you the joy of the things God has sent your way. Take a leap of faith and work it out. If it doesn’t work out,let it not be because you gave up but you gave your all. Remember,don’t equally approach it with failure as an option because if you do,you will set yourself up for failure because you can consciously and or unconsciously sabotage you.

    I would like to hear your feedback. Until next times,

    Bises 😘

  • BETRAYAL

    Betrayal is awful and even  worse when it comes from someone close. You never see it coming and that is why it hurts. Well, when one is the wounded,healing takes time but trust can or can never be built again. How then should we handle betrayal ?

    Betrayal is an act of deliberate disloyalty

    I had this friend of mine in my Uni days. We were roommates at some point and ended up dating best friends. It was bliss for a while since hangouts were easy,fun, and simple to put up. As time went by , my friend had disagreements with her then man  and things escalated between them quickly and in a span of a few weeks they were no longer talking.

    My then boyfriend and I wanted to help our friends get back together but how I wish we never meddled or at least I ought to have known when to stop for the sake of sister code. The guy had really done something upsetting to my girlfriend and just when she decided she was done with him I decided to play match-maker. So, the guy called me and asked if he could come over to our place and try talk things out with my friend. I was then to initiate a call and make her come home only to find him. I wasn’t wise but in my head I was having my friends back. The guy came, the girl came,they spoke,broke up fully and I received a silent treatment for more than a month after she expressed her discontents towards  my actions as her friend and that I betrayed her trust.

    I felt so awful. I’m fact, I carried this guilt several years later despite her having forgiven me at some point when I asked for forgiveness while still in school. It took time for her to forgive me and let me back in then learn to trust me again but I didn’t forgive myself in a very long time. Thing is, the guy was cheating on her and she found out in the most cruel manner.Instead of me to gather facts especially from my friend’s side of the story since I knew her better, I believed what my then boyfriend sold to me so I could vouch for his friend. I was but a pawn. That is the day I decided in my heart that I would always have the back of my friends and address something when I have sufficient evidence.

    Years later into our friendship after school,I reminded her of this ordeal and asked her forgiveness once more then I forgave myself as well.

    When I think of betrayal,the story that comes to my head is the story of Joseph’s betrayal by his brothers . What was his mistake? The Lord and the dad favoured him. Then there’s Cain killing Abel, Job’s three friends ( Eliphaz, Bildad,and Zophar) , Lucifer ,Jacob and Esau ,among others.

    Why would someone betray you ? I would say it is a conscious choice. Unless one is at a gun point there is no justification for deliberate disloyalty.

    I dated this guy for several years . I was so sure he was going to be the one. I mean we clicked from day one. Him and I would finish each other’s sentences,I always had something to tell him and he always knew how to talk to me . I really loved him even though I had previously swore never to love a man in such a high intensity. I gave myself fully to him and by this I mean probably body ,soul, and spirit. When he betrayed me, a dagger into the heart cannot even begin to express the pain I felt. Took me years to move on and totally forgive him. Not because he deserved it but I did it for me. Bitterness was eating me up so badly . It was me taking panadol for someone else’s headache.

    Genesis 37:1-36

    Joseph was betrayed by his brothers for three reasons: 
    1. He used to report back to their father that they were not caring properly for his flocks.
    2. Him sharing his dream where practically his whole family was bowing down to him didn't sit well with them.
    3. His father Jacob had given him a many-coloured coat as a sign of his favour. 
    Therefore,they hated him and plotted to kill him until an opportunity presented itself and they sold him to slavery to Egypt. Not only did they betray Joseph but also Jacob.

    Cain betrayed Abel because God accepted his brother’s sacrifice and not his yet the Lord asked him,’If  you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
    ‘ Jacob and his mother Rebeccah connived against Esau’s birthright ,Laban betrayed Jacob by giving to him Leah yet he had promised him Rachael so he had to work for extra 7 years to get Rachael,Samson was betrayed by his wife from Timnah and she was eventually given to his best man. Absalom and Adonijah betrayed David their father,and Tamar was betrayed by her half- brother Amnon who ended up raping her. The list is endless but I would say the greatest betrayal was that of Judas’ kiss to Jesus which catalysed the cross. In like manner ,we do the same when we walk on disobedience of His word.

    We have all been betrayed at some point in our lives. We have equally been on the other side as the betrayor.

    How do we move past it?

    I’ll use Joseph’s approach which is the  same to that of Stephen while he was being stoned and Jesus while on the cross.

    • Forgive. Ephraim ( fruitful)  only comes after a Manasseh ( forgetting) you don’t want to go  deep into the rabbit hole of bitterness.
    • Pray about it and for them. It is through this that one gets clarity and sees it in the perspective of Christ . That your betrayer meant it for evil but God used it for your good.
    • Stay committed to the assignment that is tagged to your identity. Betrayal can be a distraction but as God aligns things so should you not sabotage yourself. Don’t make anyone make you become a version of who you are not. You are a confident individual,bright,smart and made in the likeness of God. BUT: YOU are not a spy  neither are you an emotional wreck so don’t let anyone turn you into that. Like Joseph,he fled from Potiphar’s wife lest sexual sin deterred him from being whom God revealed to him through the dream. So, if you are not a baddie , an alcoholic,sexting ain’t your thing, sex, laughing at lame jokes ,and you are not a sumo wrestler make sure that’s how it stays.
    • Stay committed to your identity. It’s not your fault at all. If anything,no one gets betrayed if they are useless. You have something your betrayer doesn’t and so they make a conscious choice to put you down.

    In conclusion, if you have never been betrayed or betrayed someone you probably will. Sometimes it’s unintentional but most of the times it’s intentional. Establish the motive and as  for the toxic people steer clear from them. Guard your heart jealously and don’t become who you are not because of hurt and pain. I am not saying your hurt is misplaced but don’t let the pain destroy you.Remember, people are who they show you they are and not what you project them or want them to be.

    Every shortcut is a short circuit

    Heal first

    If you need to talk please reach out to me via email nyakwarotiga@gmail.com

    Have you been betrayed? Care to share in the comments section ❓ Until next time,

    Bises 😘

  • GRIEF

    Today’s article is dedicated to anyone who is experiencing grief and,or  is taking care of someone they deeply care about because of a physical , emotional, or mental health challenge. I hope you feel remembered and if I could ,I would reach out and give you a tight hug  and keep quiet if I am not sure what to say. That I may be to you the ministry of presence . May the Lord remind you through this piece that He sincerely cares about you. I know it hurts, I know you feel lonely and shattered ,perhaps betrayed and even bitter and let down.At the same time,I don’t know how much pain you are in because I fully cannot comprehend.Perhaps you are so scared of the outcome and the fear of what if is numbing you. The person you knew has taken a different shape . When you look at them,they are emaciated and they are trying so hard to act strong because they can see how much the situation is taking a toll on you. You take long showers not because you enjoy but so you could cry. Sometimes,just sometimes when people have slept you go down stairs to take a glass of water but really is so that you can cry. You miss them terribly. If they could be around even for five minutes,you would tell them how much you love them. If …just if …God would turn things around it would be all different. It’s been five years, ten, thirty but every time you go to someone else’s funeral and cry it’s not the deceased you are weeping for but your late beloved. The pain is fresh just like it happened and yet humans we tell you:” time makes things better” some even say that you move on because you aren’t the first and the last to loose someone. To others, you feel like maybe you ‘ moved on too fast’ One thing we forget is that grief is personal and everyone process pain differently.We can be very insensitive. When we say move on,the question is : to where❓

    I am sorry  for us being insensitive

    GRIEF

    If you hang around me for long, one thing I repeatedly say is my dislike for bad news. I am those people whom if you were to ask, “bad or good news first?” I would go with the former so we get it over with. The month of May has had some cloud of grief  over it.  This one  Saturday as I come from my morning run, my mama calls me to tell me that an uncle of mine is unwell and he’s been admitted. He suffered stroke and this was the second time. Last year, it came,we prayed,God came through and he recovered. So, as an optimistic person in my head I knew there’s nothing prayers cannot do. As my mom put it, the children had been counselled because according to the doctor the situation was hopeless. It felt so wrong to write off someone that was still enjoying God’s oxygen no matter their condition.  I read this somewhere as the stages of grief 👇

    GRIEF- DENIAL>ANGER>BARGAINING>DEPRESSION >ACCEPTANCE

    I am not going to lie and say my uncle and I were close. In fact, I didn’t know how much his death would affect me until the day I got that horrible phone call. I stood in my kitchen as if hit by lightning. My world seemed like it stopped and the realization that the person I had seen two days earlier had rested. How was it again? Moments after mom’s call:

    ” Dad has rested” that’s the WhatsApp text from my cousin that was the response to my question earlier to find out the progress of my uncle . I won’t even begin the topic on getting bad news via texts but if my mom’s call had discombobulated me,the text brought me to tears. I mean, I am glad when the call concerning his illness came I showed up . I know someone reading this is living with regrets because they called you on that fateful day but you didn’t pick neither did you remember to call back until the news of their demise hit you. Getting past that has been a nightmare and when you remember them, regret is what overshadows you. I honestly I am not sure why my uncles’ death affected me that much . When I saw him on that bed ,what came to my head was Isaiah 38: 1 when Isaiah tells King Hezekiah: set your house in order for you shall die and not live. How fragile can life be? Someone who was okay ,had their dinner and talked with  his family but in a span of a few hours was lying on the hospital bed covered in tubes and fighting for their life.

    Then came a chama mate. One day the text read: please stand in the gap for X her mom is unwell. Barely few days later, please remember X in your prayers the mom has rested. Then there was this woman I saw who was hit by a bus when I was on my morning run and she died. That early morning, carrying a basket full of provisions probably from the market going home it was suddenly cut shot. I didn’t shed  tears even though I wanted to but I was thrown off balance the entire day. If that’s not enough, the mom to one of my friends rested ,Again ! Yesterday was Tuesday. He said , the mother and he enjoyed pizza. On the last week of May on Tuesday,the two of them had pizza and the mom passed on 29 May. In honour of her, that she could be honoured by eating the same. So, on Monday this week, when I called my mom and all I could hear were gasps like someone struggling to breath but pretending to be okay I can’t start to tell you how I felt and what I imagined.

    I don’t know how you relate with your mom if she’s still alive but mine is my best friend. We call each other and never ran out of words. It’s only Sunday that I didn’t check on her but someone gasping for air was out of my expectations. She’s doing better now. However,when I got off that phone call I went down on my knees and with tears flowing from  my eyes begged God to not take her . I am not ready, I said , and I will never be ready . If it’s up to me,I’d rather she lives forever. My reaction to my mom’s situation made me aware that I haven’t been processing grief but shelving it .

    As a believer, I know the Bible tells me that as long as someone died in Christ we shouldn’t weep because they have slept not died . It continues,and when you weep ,don’t do it like pagans but people of hope knowing that you shall meet again. As much as I believe in God’s word,it’s hard to decipher such words when in pain.

    Stop imagining God’s capacity with your calculator

    Pst. Steven Furtick

    WHAT THEN ?

    In Isaiah 6 , King Uzziah dies. This is one king who despite God striking him with leprosy because of an action he did out of pride he ruled for 52 years and was one of the good kings of Judah. His name means ‘ The Lord is my strength or power ‘ . So, as the king died ,Isaiah saw the Lord also. If your Uzziah has died either physically or they have rested, the Bible says:

    It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple.( NLT)

    In the death of things there is also a birthing. I believe the Lord let this verse for us to remind us that in the situations that seem dark He is there if we look intentionally. If something didn’t work out the way you wanted , remember that you can’t use that as a calculator to determine God’s capacity. Jonathan McReynolds sings:

    May your struggles keep you near the cross

    I have come to understand why Job would choose God over and over even if God wounded him. I have come to understand why when David was left with three options out of the census he ordered that wasn’t ordained by God (2 Samuel 24)  he chose a punishment that God and not people would inflict on him. Why? The Lord has mercy  but men  don’t. Jesus equally knows how to loose someone feels, and how despair and rejection feels. He bore the cross and suffered humiliation none can ever go through.

    Apostle Paul says in I Corinthians 15:55

    O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

    Every bad thing has an expiration date.

    I serve in a ministry that visits with the sick and comforts the bereaved. For a long time, I have said that Jesus understands pain because he wept for Lazarus. However,in my head I have always told myself subconsciously that Laz was just a friend until the other day when going through Isaiah 53 everything took a different trajectory.

    He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

    Isaiah 53:1 NIV

    He didn’t quit just for us to be okay.

    I am sorry it hurts , He wants you to talk to Him. Once more, Hugs.

    If you feel like sharing,please feel free to reach out. You can comment or inbox 📥

    Please share this article with anyone you know who is grieving or going through a tough time.

    Until next time ,

    Bises 😘

  • CARRY YOUR DRY BONES

    Today’s tadpole is tommorow’s big frog

    Last week, I was watching this Nigerian film. There’s a lady with an eye for art and an artist as the main character. This lady is the kind who has kept herself established in all possible ways you may imagine. She desires to settle but there’s no right man. Out of a work assignment she meets this artist who fits the portfolio of the personality that the art gallery where she works for is in need of . As Cupid would say or rather as whoever invented love at first sight would say; there’s definitely chemistry. The guy makes it clear from the start that their relationship will be everything but official. Believing in herself,she shoves it off but as the man said it so it was. The only problem is that the lady is a keeper but the man is in for the fun and no commitments. Tension builds overtime, disrespect here and there,separation and amendments until the lady made the choice to choose herself. During this season,there was always a colleague,more or less her boss that was into her and more prospects that she had been shutting out. When the scales got out, this toxic artist came back knowing the lady would come back into his arms like she has done before. However, as we would say,the results lie between making of a decision and the choice to stick to it . The lady chose not to go back at whatever cost. As the movie comes to an end ,the following words are casted :

    Red flags never turn green

    You are probably wondering : Do I have dry bones? First of all, what are they ? Do I really have capacity to carry my dry bones? My response, YES, you do but Christ is the enabler of the capacity.

    If you are a student of the Bible, you probably know the story of Ezekiel and the dry bones in  Ezekiel 37; Dry bones signify dead situations in our lives. It may present itself as sickness, poverty, joblessness,hunger, divorce , financial wilderness, old age , messy relationships,toxic work spaces ,etc. We all have dry bones. Ezekiel is told to speak to the dry bones and tell them what the Lord says . In like manner, speak to yours and tell them the promises of God.

    Jeremiah 1:12
    “You have observed correctly ,” said the LORD,”for I am watching over my word to  accomplish it.

    When we go through challenges or rather situations where we have dry bones , the default of many is to :

    • Complain rather than praise and bless God’s name
    • Panick
    • Personalize the challenge yet ( 1 Peter 5:9 says(  Resist him,stand  firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world) our  challenges aren’t peculiar. Someone somewhere has or is still going through what we are.
    • See our dry bones as permanent

    When we go through tough times, discouragement comes in when we focus on the time and not the promise. See, focusing on the time magnifies the dry bones / challenges but the promise there’s is certainty in it’s occurence. It may take years,weeks,months,days ,hours or even seconds but it will happen. We are used to praising and being greatful to God when He gives but when He takes we struggle with seeing his goodness so we lament and at times speak death and not the word of God to our already dead situations.

    A shut mouth is a shut destiny.

    Speak!

    We ask God for jobs,He give.Overtime, what was so hard for us to acquire in one season in our lives is no longer an issue. Familiarity seeps in so eating, sleeping,good health,not,peace ,etc as in everything money can never buy becomes a norm. Our prayer life decreases as our pride increases. All of a sudden, we feel entitled to almost everything including titles like ‘ mkubwa’ or ‘ aunty madoo’ ,or Waziri, Mwalimu,Mchungaji , you know them and may hell break loose if we are not addressed as we deem befitting!

    I am reminding us that if it is you my dear reader:

    Have faith in the capacity of God to provide and supply and don’t look at your business/ job as your source.

    I began by saying that today’s tadpole is tommorow’s big frog. Some of the dry bones we have is as a result of sweeping things under the rag and saying the famous : ” it’s okay”  especially for us ladies. However, this is just a response to evade  communication on something that we would rather talk about. One day, the rug will no longer hide them and it will blow up on your face. By that time, your dry bones may not have the capacity to receive fresh breath.

    As I conclude , I’ll leave you with a few snippets to ponder on :

    It is the wind that pushes the ship, without it there’s no moving. ( Challenges are mostly blessings packaged as disruptions)
    Recognise the purpose in the pain. In this journey called life, it is the Lord who decides which vehicle to use to take you to the next level.
    It is in  death that there is ressurection.Live for a course not SELF 
    I am as strong 💪 as the day of my discouragement not victory. Rise up in trials but stay in bed in the days of victory.
    If my Why isn’t strong enough I will have lots of excuses. Let your reason for doing something be well-defined

    You have the capacity to carry your dry bones. Speak and act . You will be okay.

    Hugs

    Until next time,

    Bises 😘

  • A Stumble is Still a Step

    We are often hooked to certain things that we would like to stop engaging in but we struggle. Usually, there are two sets of people: those who sincerely want to do better and are doing everything possible to become what they desire and the ones who have resigned to their fate. The latter has decided that the character they desire to overcome has overpowered them hence resort to:

    ” that’s just who I am.”

    A stumble is not a fall but a step

    First, let me submit to us that as children we are born empty. Every single character including the language we speak is  learnt from our environment. For example,if a child born in Kenya to both Kenyan parents is adopted by Chinese nationals and brought up in China, the child will grow up as a Chinese and have nothing to do with their birth parents.In like manner , every learnt habit can be unlearned and when one stumbles in pursuit of becoming better then it is still a better  step than resigning in defeat.

    Illustration

    In the year 2019, I decided to join a group in my church that was to help me read the Bible cover to cover in a year. In the midst of it ,the course called upon us to reach out to three different people and ask them what bad character we have that if we were to change then we would become better persons. To be honest, it was really humbling. I mean, many of us if not all don’t appreciate ‘ negative ‘ comments especially not from the people we consider friends.  By that time, I really wanted to be a better person therefore I reached out to three individuals I spent most of my time with whom probably know me better. None of them knew each other but there was one answer that was common. Despite them marinating their responses for me not to get hurt, anger issues it was. This is how it was said :

    Stl, you keep quiet and observe most of the time. Barely complains and can let things slide but sis when you get angry,you are like a ticking time bomb. Worse, hiding your dislike is something you have no time for. Instead of letting things slide, address them before they escalate.

    Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].

    Proverbs 27:6 AMP

    I knew I had anger issues but hearing someone else mention it was the awakening I needed. What used to happen is that if someone really made me angry ,I would be so mad that I couldn’t get words out .  Then, I would walk out until I was sure my head was clear enough to handle the issue without uttering words in anger  which I could never take back.

    There are three things that can never come back :
    A spoken word
    Time spent
    Neglected opportunities

    How to undo

    I looked for scriptures in the Bible that spoke about anger then I studied different bible characters that acted out of anger and their consequences. Moses , out of anger struck the rock twice instead of once like God commanded him and missed out on the promised land. ( Numbers 20:7-11) , Samson on the other hand  was most of the time an angry man. One time,he was cheated out of the philistine woman he had desired as a wife and  instead she was given to his best friend .As a result, he murdered 30 philistine men in Ashkelon. ( Judges 14 ) I am however careful to say that in his anger it was the Spirit of God that came upon him with great power hence the ability to kill the 30. In addition, look at Cain, Absalom, Balaam,Ahab, Esau, and Haman. Their anger came at a great cost. I took a card and  wrote down James 1:20 that says,the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God and slipped it into my pass. Any time I was loosing my cool, I would remind myself. It didn’t happen at once, I really struggled but no matter how much I struggled I didn’t give myself excuses for my behavior until I noticed I was no longer getting irked unnecessarily. Was it easy ? No! Am I a better person? Definitely!

    We all struggle. A man is made up of body, soul, and spirit. The body is flesh, soul is made up of mind ,will, and emotions while we are spirit beings inhabiting a body.

    For the desire of the flesh is against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, in order to keep you from doing whatever you want.

    New American Standard Bible
    Galatians 5:17

    It’s always a battle and one has to win. So, consider carefully what chains you. Is it foul language ? Sexual sin, disorganization,envy, jealousy, negativity , explicit movies or content , gluttony , oversleeping, bad-mouthing people ,etc. God uses pure vessels for pure purposes. Some of the things we are hooked on are the very reasons why we are stagnant. They occupy the space of the Holy Spirit whom the Lord gave us as guidance. If you doubt me let me help you analyze.

    If you love watching movies , you spend hours on watching,consume content that give you ideas and thoughts you never had. Perhaps make you lust over something and the flesh will lead you to indulge.

    If it is foul words, the obscenities coming out of you speak death and not life . Yet , proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of our tongues and those that partake of it eat it’s fruit. That’s is, in God’s kingdom ,there are no jokes( Mathew 12:36-37 says that we shall account for every empty word we give ) .

    If yours is envy, proverbs 14:30b  says that envy rots up bones .

    Conclusion

    I am writing this article to remind us that we can become better versions of ourselves. Don’t accept anger as a generational thing and be okay with that . Make the choice to be different. It is true that most of the things we struggle with began with our ancestors and without our knowledge we find ourselves doing the same. To some, people in your generation are very timid. As a result, you say : that’s just how we are . All I am saying is that we are the way we are because it’s a choice. We can choose to be different and when we fall trying keep trying.

    Jabez

    I Chronicles 4: 9-10

    Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” 10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory!Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

    In the midst of a chapter barely mentioning names of the descendants of Judah Jabez rises. It doesn’t matter that he’s in the 6th generation after the curse on the sin of Tamar and Judah. Neither does it matter that his name is Pain. He chose to be different and so God granted his request.

    In like manner, you can choose to be different. If you sincerely want to do better, remember that a stumble is still a step.By any chance if  you fall but you are very willing to do better,the Lord sees our hearts and He will be right there to hold your hand just like He did with Peter as long as you stay focussed to the goal,that is, to change for the better.

    As you read this piece,it is my prayer that no one uses the excuse of a stumble being a step to keep messing up. I pray that this article makes  you think in retrospect and analyze the area you need to work on to become a better person. Maybe your solution lies in changing your circle of friends, or the material you consume through your openings : eyes,mouth ,and ears . Maybe it’s a prayer away. Do something  😊

    What’s your take out ?

    Until next time,

    Bises 😘

  • BUT GOD

    Nail pierced hand

    Yesterday was Easter Monday, it was also April’s Fools and equally one year since I quit doing something I had been doing for a while and no longer derived joy in it. Sitting here on my bed and just wondering asking God what I should blog about, I am reminded of what went down yesterday.

    Two weeks ago during the midweek service on Wednesday in the church where I fellowship, a huge part of why I went was because I needed to be in a space where people praised Him so I don’t let the negative emotions I was feeling weigh me down. That particular day, we were offered tea and cupcake and so, I got the chance to have a conversation with someone and let her know about something I was contending with the Lord. I just needed an outlet and a fresh perspective to be sure I wasn’t doing things out of my own volition. Why am I sharing this ?

    This article today is meant for the one who is at  the crossroads. You feel like you have done everything you are supposed to do. You keep showing up , stay in your best behaviour, and literally give your all but heavens seem to be silent. I am writing this today to remind you, He is aware,He sees ,and don’t let your challenges drive you away from God but towards Him. May the nail pierced hands be a reminder that even though you  and I weren’t worth it, to Him we  were and so He suffered that you and I have the life we do today .

    After I shared my experience with this lady and I asked her: Has the voice of God really changed ? Did I hear Him or did I impose my will on Him?This is what she said:  hang in there, the Lord is working something out and your testimony is being served . Just wait a little bit longer. To you whom this is addressed to, may this article encourage you.

    Yesterday, I sat down to reflect. 1st  April 2023 is when I got an appointment letter to start this new position. I was ecstatic and afraid at the same time. It looked too good to be true but then again I know God has the habit of surprising us. I thought I had figured everything out until weeks turned into months and finally a year yesterday of being ‘stuck’. As I looked at things in retrospect, I couldn’t help but burst into praise and gratitude for the silence period.If we are to be honest , many if not all of us work so that we get money. If we could get money without working only probably a tenth of people would continue working. Having been so used to a paycheck, I recalled that the last time I received one was last year February. Through the months till now, I have hit very low and very high moments in my life . There have been things I never imagined I would go through like debating between buying food, medication or paying rent or school fees for my young one. Then again I have had moments of abundance even in my season of  silence and waiting. Psalms 23 has given me a fresh perspective: before I walk through the valley of shadow of  death, He leads me through green pastures ,He guides me besides still waters then He refreshes my soul. Meaning,before the tough moments,God equips us in readiness for the valley and that’s why He says He can’t test us beyond what we can handle .

    You have enough and all you need for this season that you are in

    My greatest lesson has been that I shouldn’t associate my job as a source of my provision but a channel the Lord uses to provide for me.

    To better understand what the background of the story is . Click 👇

    The Pace of Grace

    If you get to a place in your life where you feel you no longer derive joy in the chanell which God is providing for  you ( say job) or you feel complacent but you feel afraid of what the future may look like. Take a step of faith after talking to Him, provision is in His hands and maybe you are holding your blessings back

    As I marked one year, I thanked God for the lessons that I couldn’t have learnt in my usual hustle and bustle. I have learnt to not identify my self with the job I do, to sincerely love and care for people, to serve God through standing in the gap for people, like Macedonians ,give even in lack or insufficiency,    I am still learning to be vulnerable, I have learnt to be the type  of friend  or spouse I would like another person to desire, I have learnt how to cook well, I nolonger easily get tired, and the greatest one is that I have learnt to pray. Literally speaking I tell God anything and everything: the good ,the bad ,and the ugly including times I feel like He has left me high and dry. I am her and okay today because the Lord has kept me.

    Conclusion

    Learn to look at your situations in the lenses of praise and gratitude. This will not leave room for bitterness and negativity. Walk with people whom you agree with not anyone who will water you down. When Peter and Silas praised in prison,chains broke. When Peter looked at God and responded to the instruction to come he walked on water, when the one blind man came back to say thank you, he was fully set free, it is praise and gratitude that made Job not curse God. Praise brought down the walls of Jericho. Thank God for all things and learn what He is teaching you . If it’s a person stressing you out just praise God for them and ask Him to turn things around. He is a turn around God. Remember to praise Him wether the sufficiency is enough for only today or your cup is pressed down, shaken together, and running over.

    Until next time,

    Hugs 🫂

    I love you

    Jesus Loves you.

    Bises 😘

  • MINDSETS

    ‭‭
    Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.

    Proverbs 4:23

    Have you ever realised that your thoughts shape you?  I mean, there are some of us who can’t stay alone just to avoid thinking. The decisions we make are based on our  thoughts and eventually the  thoughts shape our character and this translates to who we really are.

    Early this year, I read a book written by Roberts Liardon called ( God’s Generals-  The Healing Evangelists). The author talks about different healing evangelists who had mega churches and were responsible for  mega movements from way back in the 70s ,to post the  Nazi regime. One person struck me: Oral Roberts. He is the man whom the author was named after.

    ” You are to build me a university on my authority and that of the Holy Spirit .” He said that’s what he was instructed to do by the Lord.Him sharing this calling brought him a lot of ridicule especially from the circle of believers who incessantly told him to stick to his lane as an evangelist and healing minister.9 years is the period it took for him to get the land where he said God wanted him to establish it and despite opposition he got the land. On November 27,1962 Oral Roberts University(ORU) was formally established and it was dedicated on April 2,1967 by the late Billy Graham( ORU exists to date). Despite the tremendous success against critics  and naysayers, on September 9,1977 Roberts surprised many when he shared his conviction to build a medical center to be called ‘city of faith’. The plan was massive and criticism doubled although they didn’t water down his conviction.

    If you argue with your  limitations you  get to keep them but if you agree with God about your potential you get to grow into them

    Pst.Steven Furtick

    By 1986, the city of faith had been opened for five years but it accrued a lot of debts and  faced tremendous battles. Eventually,the project didn’t suffice fully  and the school of dentistry got shut. Robert passed away on December 15,2009.It is more interesting when you read the book  for yourself so you can check out the book from pages (131-216). I have purposefully used an example where he stood by his conviction no matter what. One ,he saw it through the end but the other didn’t. You might be wondering,if he didn’t ‘ fully succeed for the second one,was it really the Lord?’

    NB:

    His school of medicine may not have come to reality like he’d hoped for but he allowed God to make a point through him.

    Not everything you go through is to target you. How you handle a situation is an opportunity for God to guide so many other people.

    My point is: You are who you think you are.

    Source: Google

    A TALE OF TWO CITIES

    Negative /Fixed mindset

    By the end of my relayance on the two sides of the coin,I am sure you shall find out where you belong and make the necessary adjustments.

    Question

    How do I know I have a negative mindset? First ,ask yourself: where are you most prone with your negativity?

    • Relational cynism. You don’t trust people. According to you,people have ulterior motives. When you don’t have a good view of others this means that you don’t have a good view of yourself.
    • Negative filtering. Magnify what’s wrong and dim what is positive.
    • Polarised thinking. Things are either black or white no in between. Example , ‘ men are dogs ‘ because one man made you feel that way. Secondly,just because you are right,others are wrong. This is pride.
    • Blaming.Believing that you are always the victim. It’s never your fault and even if it is someone else made you do it so technically it’s not you.

    Growth / positive mindset

    You can have a growth mindset in an environment of scarcity even though our environment influences our mindsets.This mindset is always positive in all seasons of life and when things seem dark,one magnifies the good amidst the darkness.

    • You frame your environment and not the environment framing you.
    • You know that where God guides He provides,He hides, and protects and that His blessings aren’t always on the things you get but also those which you don’t. So,when life beats you to a pulp you find a way to carry on.
    • Adds value where you are. The provision of God may not match your preference say Elijah being fed with the Raven but in a season where His provision stops like when the brook dried up that quenched Elijah’s thirst,you know that God is still the provider so pivot to the next season because from Ravens He shall use a widow. A growth mindset doesn’t give up easily.
    • Genuinely loves and values others. When you are up,lift others.

    How to transit 

    Look at your circumstances with the lens of your purpose
    Be grateful for both the Yes' s and No's
    Stay focussed on your assignment/ goals. You can take time off to rejuvenate but keep moving.
    Get healing so you stop bleeding on innocent people. 
    Be mindful of the content you consume and people you hang around with. Anything that isn't of value detach from it including office gossip. Never forget that if you sit at a table where someone is being discussed,when it's your time to leave you shall be the topic.

    Dear reader, the mind governed by the flesh causes death. Strive to make your thoughts captive to the submission of Christ. Your joy is your job and sole responsibility. See to it that you stay healthy emotionally because if you are not there’s nothing of importance you shall do. Don’t stay silent when you need help .

    After you reflect on where you lie.Can you be kind enough to let me know what is your hardest struggle when it comes to handling tough situations?I know when things are thick that’s when it’s easier to know your mental fortitude.

    Until next time,

    Bises 😘

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